TD Bank or Mozart

Monday, February 25, 2013
TD Bank or Mozart?




Kato, how come you’re comparing TD Bank with Mozart?

Diane, do you remember that TD Bank once pissed me off?

Yes, I do.  You did write about a special offer from the bank, which closed your credit account by mistake.

That’s right.  The offer is as follows:

Here’s how to use

your enclosed TD Visa cheques:


From now until February 28, 2013, use your TD Visa Cheques to pay off other higher-rate non-TD credit card balance. It’s easy.

  • Write each TD Visa Cheque for any amount, up to the available credit limit on your Card.

  • Present it to the non-TD credit issuer you wish to pay.

  • The amount on the Cheque will be charged to your TD Credit Card Account ar an interest rate of 2.9% for 6 months.

So, Kato, you tried to take advantage of the 2.9% special offer, did’t you?

You bet.  Instead of writing a cheque, I phoned the TD bank to avoid walking to my Royal Bank brach to pay off the Royal Bank visa balance—roughly $5,800.

Then what happened?

I talked to Erica—one of the representatives at the TD bank.  Just read the following conversation:


My name is Erica.  How may I help you?

Could you do a balance transfer for me?

Yes, I think I can.  Let me have your name and account number, please. (I gave her the required information.)  Let me get into your account on the computer… Well … Unfortunately, your account is closed.

No kidding!  You see, I’ve received the special offer from your bank, and your bank sent me an account statement as of January 7, which I received 10 days ago.  How could you possibly close my account?

Let me see… According to your file on the computer, your account has been closed automatically because you haven’t used your credit card for 2 years.

Look!  I haven’t received any notice regarding this closure.  Yet, you sent me a brochure of special offer and still keeps on sending me account statements. And you’re saying that my credit account has been automatically closed.  Why the heck is that?

I don’t know exactly what happened.  It seems that your account balance is zero and no activities have been taking place during the last 2 years.  So the computer has closed your account automatically.

Listen!  Apparently there is no internal communication between the computer and the human beings at your bank.  Lack of proper communication!  Do you know what I mean?  This is a serious mistake arising from the lack of proper communication at your bank!

I apologize for the inconvenience.

I don’t need your apology.  What I want you to do is to re-activate my account.

I don’t think I can.

Why not?

…’Cause I don’t have any authority to do that.

I think your bank has a serious problem now.  I’ve been doing business with your bank for more than 20 years.  That is, my credit account has been at your bank for more than 20 years.  In the previous years, when no activities took place on my account for 2 years, you sent me a notice whether or not I’d like to continue to hold an account.  And now your dumb computer automatically closed my account.  This is one of the most foolish bank activities I’ve ever heard of.

I’m sorry but I can’t help you on this matter.

Well, in this case, I’d like to place a formal complaint.  Please give me the name of your vice-president in charg of customer services or credir card operations so that I can write a letter of complaint.

You can’t do that.

Why not?

…’Cause you’d have to comply with the bank’s procedure if you want to place a formal complaint.  First of all, one of our officers would have to evaluate your complaint wether or not to proceed.

That’s a piece of nonsensical bullshit!  Listen, Erica!  We live in a free world, you know.  Have you ever heard of freedom of speech or freedom of expression?

Yes, of course, I have.

Then I don’t need to obey your rule!  I should be able to say or write whatever I want to complain without your evaluation.

But you have to comply with my bank’s procedure.

Listen, Erica!  I don’t have to obey your rule, which is NOT a law.  If I like, I could report this to the world.

… to the world?  How could you possibly do that?

Well … I’m a blogger, and my readers are all over the world—79 countries if I tell you exactly.  When the people all over the world get to know this foolish bank activity, they try to avoid TD Bank.

Wait a minute!  I don’t think I can handle this problem any more.  Would you like to talk to my manager?

Yes, of course, by all means.


Good morning.  My name is Christopher.  My Employee ID is 30223.  How may I help you?

Your computer did automatically close my account without sending me any notice.

I suppose it’s for security reason.

Are you saying that I’m a security risk?

No, you are NOT.  Since you haven’t used your credit card for two years, somebody else might use it.  That’s the kind of security risk I’m talking about.

You’re talking about the your bank’s security, not customers’ satisfaction.  They say, customers are a king, but at your bank, the dumb computer seems to be a king. Accordingly, without any communication between the stupid machine and the human, your bank made a serious mistake.  So I want you to re-activate my account right away.

Sorry, but I can’t do that.

Why not?

I’m not allowed to do that, Sir.

So at your bank, your dumb computer is the real king, isn’t it?

No, it is NOT, but I can’t re-activate your account.

As a manager you should be able to override the dumb computer’s foolish decision, shouldn’t you?

At my bank, unfortunately, this is not the case, Sir.  Anything else I can help you with?

No, nothing else.  If you’re inferior to the dumb computer, I don’t think I should talk about anything else with you.

SOURCE: “Selfish TD Bank”
(February 3, 2013)

Kato, are you still angry with the bank?

No, not really.

Then how come you’ve brought up the same complaint?

… Simply because I’m just curious about how well the above article (“Selfish TD Bank”) is read on the Net.

Is it well-read?

I suppose so.

Kato, how do you know?

Take a look at the following map and list.



This is a list of page views by country, which was recorded on December 12, 2012.

So, your readers came from 79 countries, didn’t they?

Yes, they did.  Now look at the following list recorded on February 1, 2013.


The number of page views had been increased to 32,195 from 29,974, but the number of countries remained the same, didn’t it?

Yes, that’s right.  I posted “Selfish TD Bank” on February 2, 2013 and “Talk with Mozart” on February 12.  Now, look at the following map and list.



As you see, the number of page views had been increased to 33,514 from 32,195, and the number of countries had been increased to 81 from 79.

So you’re saying that both “Selfish TD Bank” and “Talk with Mozart” articles attracted Net surfers from additional two countries, aren’t you?

You’re telling me, Diane.

Is that why you pasted the above title—“TD Bank or Mozart?”

Diane, you’re such a smart gal, aren’t you?

Don’t be an apple-polisher, Kato.  Anybody could tell you that.  And are you saying, that’s because “Selfish TD Bank” has been well-read?

Yes, of course, I am.

I don’t think so…’Cause everybody knows Mozart, but probaly only Canadians know TD Bank.  So “Talk with Mozart” was read more often worldwide than “Selfish TD Bank.”

That’s wrong!

Kato, I assume you’ve got some evidence if you insists I’m wrong.

Yes, of course, I have.  Look at the following search result.


I posted an article about TD Bank only once, yet this article has spread over the Net ever since.  That’s why you see the number of hits, which is 40,900.

How about the other article?

Take a look at the following result.


I posted three other articles about Mozart:

“Sōseki & Glenn Gould”(Nov.30, 2012)

“Little Night Music”(Dec.18, 2012)

“Flu Shot”(Jan.30, 2013)

So what?

Well … the number of countries remained the same before February 1, which means Mozart didn’t attract those Net surfers in the additional two countries.  TD Bank did.

But … but …

Diane, but what?

Some other topics might have intersted those Net surfers.

Yes, you could say that.  Actually, Diane, on a second thought you might have interested those men.

What do you mean?

Look at the following result.


Those men did an image search like this and found you, and then moved the mouse pointer over your picture, which brought up the following pop-up window.


Then those guys came to know that your picture was in the article called “Dream Dream Dream,” then clicked the picture, which brought up the following page.


Now you see the “Selfish TD Bank” page, and then click “Website for this page,” which will bring up the following page.


“The Actual Page”

But, Kato, this is a page on your ANISEN blog, isn’t it?  Definitely NOT a page on your WordPress blog.

You’re darn right, but this isn’t the end of my story.   Those guys are not happy yet … ‘cause they want to see you.  So they come down to the bottom of the page, and then see the “Dream Dream Dream” URL.


You see… Now those guyes click the “Dream Dream Dream” URL, which will bring up the following page.


“The Actual Page”

I see… Now those guys see me in a page on your WordPress blog, which recorded their country of origin in the following list.


You’re telling me, Diane.  The thing is, beauty is lingua franca.

What do you mean by that?

You know, Diane.  They don’t have to speak English to pick up a beautiful woman on the net.  Beauty has no boundaries.  Beauty stands out as you stands out, Diane.

Oh, do you really think so?

Yes, I do.

Kato, you’re such a dear heart… but …, but … don’t be an apple-polisher.

No, believe me, I’m NOT.  Anyway, beautiful women attract men.

【Himiko’s Monologue】

Well … Diane is a pretty woman.
No question about that.

But I’m also a charming gal.
Don’t you think so?

What …?  I’m not so charming as Diane.
Tsk, tsk, tsk, … That’s how you see me, isn’t it?

Well … Then why don’t you look at the following picture.

What do you think?
I believe some gentlemen want to see me on this site.
Don’t you think I’m taking a big role in attracting many men from 81 countries?

You don’t think so, eh?

Well … in any case, I hope Kato will write another interesting article soon.
So please come back to see me.

Have a nice day!
Bye bye …

If you’ve got some time,

Please read one of the following artciles:

“Diane Chatterley”

“From Canada to Japan”

“From Gyoda to Vancouver”

“Film Festival”

“Madame Taliesin”

“Happy Days”

“Vancouver Again”


“Midnight in Vancouver”

“Madame Lindbergh”

“Dead Poets Society”

“Letters to Diane”

“Taliesin Studio”

“Wright and Japan”

“Taliesin Banzai”

“Memrory Lane to Sendai”

“Aunt Sleepie”

“Titanic @ Sendai”



“Roly-poly in the wild”

“Silence is dull”

“Zen and Chi Gong”

“Piano Lesson”

“Dangerous Relation”

“Electra Complex”


“Covent Garden”

“Fatal Relation”

“Notre Dame”

“Anne Frank”

“Biker Babe”

“Diane Girdles the Globe”

“Diane in Casablanca”

“Infidelity Neighbourhood”

“Forest Bathing”

“Enjoy Ramen!”

“Sex, Violence, Love”

“Halifax to Vancouver”

“A Thread of Destiny”

“Fujiyama Geisha”

“Beaver Lake”

“God is Near!”

“Holy Cow@Rose Garden”

“Vancouver Earthquake”



“You Love Japan, eh?”

“Eight Bridges”

“First Love”

“Fright on Flight”

“Boy’s Movie”

“From Summer to Eternity”

“Sōseki & Glenn Gould”

“Dream Dream Dream”

“In Search of Your Footprint”

“Little Night Music”

“Merry X’mas”

“Happy New Year!”

“Long live Diane!”

“Mona Lisa”

“Flu Shot”

“Selfish TD Bank”

“Talk with Mozart”

“Bliss for Diane!”

“Romantic Bohemian”

Hi, I’m June Adams.

TD Canada Trust is the personal, small business and commercial banking operation of the Toronto-Dominion Bank (TD) in Canada.

TD Canada Trust offers a range of financial services and products to more than 10 million Canadian customers through more than 1,100 branches and 2,600 “Green Machine” ABMs.


The current TD Canada Trust division was formed after TD’s acquisition of Canada Trust in 2000.

All new and most existing accounts are officially issued by TD Bank (Institution Number: 004), although Canada Trust (Institution Number: 509) remains a separate subsidiary entity, and remains the issuer of accounts opened at that institution prior to the merger.

Over the past year, TD has been phasing out the “Canada Trust” part of its name from its logo online, in advertisements, and on stationary.

It is possible that this is a move to consolidate TD’s Canadian and American (TD Bank North) retail brands, but this is unknown at this time.

Worth approximately $9.7 billion, TD has been regarded by as Canada’s most valuable bank.

Occupy Vancouver protesters

take over downtown TD Bank







『軽井沢タリアセン夫人 – 小百合物語』




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