Diane Girdles the Globe

Saturday, April 21, 2012
Diane Girdles the Globe



Subj:I’ll wear a helmet

next time I ride in London.

From: diane@vancouver.ca
To: barclay1720@aol.com
Date: Thu, Apr 12, 2012 8:29 pm
Pacific Daylight Saving Time

Hello, Kato!

I read the following story.


■”Biker Babe”

(Thur. April 12, 2012)

If I knew I was going to go riding in London, I definitely would have brought a helmet… oh, well, at least I brought my underwear!
I really enjoyed Himiko’s monologue.

【Himiko’s Monologue】

I’m a biker babe, too.
You don’t believe me, do you?

Well… I don’t drive a bike.
But, I like to go for a ride on a bike.

How?… you may ask.

Well…I’m always a piggyback rider like this:


But, the other day when I went for a ride on the bike my cousin was driving, the cop in the picture stopped us.
At first I didn’t know why he stopped us.
You may wonder if I was wearing no panties.
Of course, I did wear a string bikini bottom.
But the problem wasn’t my panties, but a helmet.

So whenever you ride a bike piggyback, you’d better wear a helmet, too.
Otherwise, you’d get a ticket and pay fine.

I hope Kato will write another interesting article soon.
So please come back to see me.

Have a nice day!
Bye bye …

This was too funny.
Thanks for sending it.

It was good to see you on Tuesday.
We had an amazing yoga class.
A girlfriend from my building joined me.

She is a lovely gal who used to be a grade school teacher and yoga teacher on the side.
She thought it was wonderful, too.
We both just about floated home we were so relaxed.
… too bad we can’t hold on to that feeling, eh kiddo?
One day you’ll have to join us.

Anyway, you are such a story teller, kiddo.

Love, Diane ~

Kato, what do you mean by “Diane girdles the globe”?

Do you have any idea?

Well…, I went over to London, and now I’m back here in Vancouver, but I don’t think I’ve ever circled the world.

You haven’t covered the whole world, but you’ve almost covered the globe through my readers.

…trotted over this earth through your readers? …  What’s that supposed to mean, Kato?

Diane, take a look at the following chart.


This is a list showing the number of page views visitors made on my following blog site:


So, you’re saying that those Net surfers came from the above 48 countries, aren’t you?

Yes, I am.

You told me the other day that you’ve got several other blogs.

Yes, I have.  To be exact, I’ve got eighteen blogs and one web site as follows.


So, you call those sites as “Denman Syndicate,” don’t you?

Yes, I do.  You see, Diane…you haven’t met those visitors from the 48 countries, but they virtually met you and imagined you as the following pictures:




So, in a sense, you visited the above 48 countires and met each one of the readers… I mean, virtually. That’s the reason I said you almost covered the whole earth—that is, you girdled the globe.

I see.  I wish I could meet each one of those visitors…must be a lot of fun!

Yes, I’d say so.  They seem to have really enjoyed your story.

Which story?

Here it is.

Subj:Summer is here

with us!

Enjoy the sunshine!

From: diane03760@vancouver.ca
To: barclay1720@aol.com
Date: Tue, Jul 26, 2011 4:35 pm.
Pacific Daylight Saving Time

Thanks my truly skinny Socrates, Kato.

“Madame Riviera and Burger”

(July 26, 2011)

I’ve read the above article.
Your article is excellent as usual.
I did remember that you lived in Yellowknife some years ago.

Many years ago, I too lived for six months or so in the north, Whitehorse, Yukon Territory.

Actually, I worked for a mining company in a small town called Faro (Anvil Mines at the time) as secretary to the President.
I was given my own apartment (most of the staff had to live in bunk houses) and a huge salary compared with what I would receive in Vancouver.
So I was thrilled about that.

I didn’t want to feel totally isolated, though, so I asked whether I could eat with the others in the cookhouse and they obliged.

Thank God.
It was fun and much easier than doing my own cooking and making do with the limited selection in the local store.
The cook took a special liking to me and every day he would give me extra rations of cookies and cakes.

Pretty soon I realized that if I took advantage of these favours I would end up being a roly-poly.

so I would take them and then give them away.
Lotsa fun.

I do remember a really cute Japanese gal who worked up there telling me she had already gained 25 lbs in one year, and it showed.

It was all the lesson I needed, thankfully.

SOURCE: “Biker Babe”
(Thur. April 12, 2012)

But, Kato, I wonder how they could possibly find the article that includes my story.

It’s quite easy.  By now, so many Net surfers know your name. They simply search on GOOGLE, entering your name like this:


Wow!…amazing!…249,000,000 hits and my name appears in the third as well as fourth article.

So I told you.  You’re really getting popular among Net surfers.

I doubt… but how come your articles show up in the first page?

Well… as I told you, I’ve got many sites.


You see… The number of visitors is increasing month by month since I’m working as hard as possible to write interesting stories.  Besides, Diane, you’re helping me a great deal, writing me many pieces of interesting mail and giving me tons of inspiration.  This is such a lovely collaboration, I’d say.

I’m glad to hear that, but since your readers are mostly Japanese, I don’t think they appreciate my stories.

Oh yes, they do.  They’re really looking forward to reading your stories.

What makes you think so, Kato?

Look at the following chart.


From 8 to 9 o’clock in the morning, 40 visitors read “Biker Babe.”

How do you know?

Look at the following snap shot of the article at http://ameblo.jp/barclay/.


“Biker Babe” at ameblo.jp

Although I posted it in Vancouver at 4:27 p.m. on April 12, this article was published at 8:27 a.m. on April 13 in Tokyo because Japan is 16 hours ahead of us.

So what?

Diane, look at the peak time of the above chart.

Suddenly 40 people read the above article from 8 to 9.

Yes, yes, yes, … they did because they were waiting for something exciting.  They knew that an article about Diane was about to come at any moment.  As soon as their RSS reader received the notice of the arrival of “Biker Babe”, they clicked its title and started reading eargerly.

I don’t believe that.

Why not?

There is no way for them to know that an article about me is coming along.

Well…the Japanese are quite ingenious, you know.   They’re very keen to use a gadget like a RSS reader so that they could read whatever they want.

But they will never know what’s in store.

Those 40 people were quite eager to read an article about you.

But not many Japanese speak English in the first place.

No, not many.  That’s absolutely true, but they can read books in English or any written materials in English. Believe me, the Japanese have been learning English since grade 7.  They don’t want to speak English, but they can read the language.

Kato, are you saying that they are particularly intersted in “Biker Babe”?

Yes, I am.

Why is that?

…’Cause your story is interesting and Himiko’s monologue is quite funny.  So, word of mouth spread like a wild fire in the dried-up forest.

Show me some proof.

If you say so, please take a look at the following list.


This is the list of page views ranking on April 15, two days after the posting of “Biker Babe.”  Except for RSS feed (rss20.xml), “Biker Babe” is still the top of the ranking.

I see…

You see, Diane, you’re quite popular among the Net surfers in Japan.  So, go to Tokyo, instead of London.


…’Cause you could easily expect a red-carper reception, and they would treat you as if the late Princess Di came into life. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, …


【Himiko’s Monologue】

Look at the search result for Diane’s name!
249,000,000 hits!
I can hardly believe this.

Well…, suddenly I get curious so I enter my own name into the GOOGLE engine.
What a surprise!
I cannot find my name.
There are so many entries about Princess Himiko of the ancient Japanese royal family.

I’ve got an adea, and enter my name with Diane and Kato like this.


Yes! Oh yes!
All pages listed in the above are talking about me.
I’m now thoroughly satisfied.

Well… I hope Kato will write another interesting article soon.
So please come back to see me.

Have a nice day!
Bye bye …

If you’ve got some time,

Please read one of the following artciles:

“Hello Diane!”

“I wish you were there!”

“Jane Eyre”

“Jane Eyre Again”

“Jane Eyre in Vancouver”

“Jane Eyre Special”

“Love & Death of Cleopatra”

“Nice Story”


“Spiritual Work or What?”

“What a coincidence!”

“Wind and Water”

“Yoga and Happiness”

“You’re in a good shape”




“Net Travel & Jane”

“Net Love”

“Complicated Love”

“Electra Complex”

“Net Début”

“Inner World”

“Madame Riviera and Burger”

“Roly-poly in the North”

“Amazing Grace”

“Diane in Paris”

“Diane in Montmartre”

“Diane Well Read”

“Wantirna South”

“Maiden’s Prayer”


“Squaw House and Melbourne Hotel”

“Tulips and Diane”

“Diane in Bustle Skirt”

“Diane and Beauty”

“Lady Chatterley and Beauty”

“Victorian Prudery”

“Diane Chatterley”

“From Canada to Japan”

“From Gyoda to Vancouver”

“Film Festival”

“Madame Taliesin”

“Happy Days”

“Vancouver Again”


“Midnight in Vancouver”

“Madame Lindbergh”

“Dead Poets Society”

“Letters to Diane”

“Taliesin Studio”

“Wright and Japan”

“Taliesin Banzai”

“Memrory Lane to Sendai”

“Aunt Sleepie”

“Titanic @ Sendai”



“Roly-poly in the wild”

“Silence is dull”

“Zen and Chi Gong”

“Piano Lesson”

“Dangerous Relation”

“Electra Complex”


“Covent Garden”

“Fatal Relation”

“Notre Dame”

“Anne Frank”

“Biker Babe”

Hi, I’m June Adams.

Since Himiko-san did enter her own name into the Google engine, I also did a search entering my own full name.


I’m quite surprised to know that there are so many women with the same name as I have.
There is even a deceased woman listed in the above result.
She died at the age of 83.
I wonder if I would be able to live to that age.
In any case I was sort of relieved to see two pages, in which Kato-san talked about me.







『軽井沢タリアセン夫人 – 小百合物語』





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