Net Début

Monday, July 18, 2011
Net Début


So, Kato…are you talking about my debut on the Net?

Oh, yes, of course.

Don’t be silly, Kato.  How could you possibly make my début on the Net?

I’ve done it already.

Rubbish!  You’re talking nonsense, Kato!

Well…look at the GOOGLE images search below:

Google Images Search for

【Diane Kato Himiko’s monologue】

At Present

What about the above image search?

Well…you see, Diane…your pretty pictures are spread over the Net.

Only 94 results. You can’t say that I’ve made my début on the Net, can you?

In that case, look at the your favorite toaster in the above list. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, …

What about my favorite toaster?

Well…, your favorite joke is already taken by the Google Web crawler.

Kato, I tried to turn on the microwave oven, but it won’t come on.

You know what?  The internet is down.

You mean the microwave oven is part of the internet?

Oh, yeah!  Everything is now.  It’ll come on.

You’ve got toast.

SOURCE: “Net Revolution”
(Thursday, July 14, 2011)

What about the above joke?

Well…, the above joke is jotted down in the “Net Revolution” article written on July 14, and the article has been already in the Google search result.

Google Search Result for

【”Net Revolution” Diane Kato】

At Present

Are you telling me that you’ve posted the same article on 151 blogs?

No, not all results are my pages, but more than half the pages in the above list have been posted through the Denman Syndicate.

What is the Denman Syndicate?

I post the same article on a dozen blogs, and my faithful robot posts it automatically on another dozen blogs for me.  I call the network of those blogs “Denman Syndicate.”

I see…but I wonder if net surfers are actually reading your articles.

Oh, yes, my articles are well read.  Look at the list below:

I captured the above screen on July 8. The latest record is the previous day’s access record. Take a look at the red-rectangled day, which is July 6. That means, the access data is for the article posted on previous day—July 5.

What is 2183 PV?

2183 stands for 2183 page views. 336 IP stands for 336 IP addresses, that is, 336 visitors on my blog. The figure in the last column says that, on July 5, my blog was on the 2533rd position in terms of the number of visitors out of 1,604,939 blogs in the Japanese GOO group.

So, on July 5, 336 visitors read 2183 pages on your blog, didn’t they?

Yes, they did.

What is the title of the article on that day?

Look at the list below:

“Complicated Love” is the title of the article on July 5.

“Complicated Love”

Subj:Summer is

just around the corner!

Date: Thu, Jun 30, 2011 4:37 pm.
Pacific Daylight Saving Time

Hi Kato,

Well, well, well … my skinny Socrates!
You ARE a deep thinker, aren’t you?

I quite agree that we often waste our time in idle chatter, and I’ll be the first to admit I’m guilty on that account myself.
Often, I will ask myself what the best use of my day will be and, for a great part of it, I do manage to accomplish worthwhile activies … like exercising, time in nature, contact with friends, rest, reading and contemplating …

BUT there is still wasted slack time that’s for sure.
…guess it’s a dance we all have to learn—the dance of living a worthwhile life, don’t you think?

“Net Love”

 Wednesday, June 29, 2011

I loved the above article … very thoughtful.
I’m sure that chatroom lovers can eventually learn to love each other, while face-to-face might produce the opposite affect.

But when you think about it, a chatroom lover can’t hold your hand, or kiss you or hold you or go with you to a movie very well now, can they?!

Nothing beats a face-to-face even thought there are no guarantees it will work out … no guarantees either way, so might as well go for the real McCoy, I’d say.

Most chatroom love would be pseudo-love, I’m guessing.
Ah, it’s all so very interesting, anyway.

Thanks so much for the above article, kiddo,

Love, Diane ~

SOURCE: “Complicated Love”

You see, Diane…some surfers are interested in what you’re talking about on the Net.

I doubt.

How come you’re so negative, Diane?

…’Cause, I don’t think, not many people are reading the above article.

You’re wrong, Diane…On July 5, 336 net surfers read the “Net Revolution” article, which appeared on at least 24 blogs of the Denman Syndicate, if not 151 blogs or web sites shown in the above GOOGLE search result. Let’s suppose, 300 people read my article on average. That means, 300 people X 24 blogs = 7,200 people a day. You see, Diane. Quite a few people!

I see.

You see, Diane…in the age of internet, people living thousand miles apart can communicate each other as if they lived next door.

Do you really mean it?

Yes, of course, I do.

Any proof?

Oh, yeah. Look at the screen image below:

This is the screen image captured on April 25, 2011.

Is this your blog?

Yes, it is. Look at the green bar on the left-side column.

   Live Traffic Feed   

The list shows the recent ten visitors on my blog at the time.

Only ten visitors?

If you want to see more, then click the following bar in the above list:

   Real-time view Menu   

When you click the above bar, you’ll see the following detailed list:

Wow!…there are so many visitors from various countries.

That’s right. The above visitors came to my blog from 11:29 AM to 1:38 PM on April 24, Vancouver Time—approximately for two hours.

The visitor on the top of the above list is you, Kato?

Yeah, that’s right. Under me is another Canadian visitor from Tronto. You can also see an American visitor from St.Louis, Missouri.

The flag seen under the American visitor is of France, isn’t it?

No, it isn’t. It is the flag of Thailand. The visitor came from City of Zapote in the state of Alajuela. Under this visitor is another Amerivan visitor from Bridgeport, Connecticut.

I see a visitor from Seoul of Korea.

Maybe, the above Korean visitor is learning the Japanese. You can see the French flag under the Korean visitor. The last visitor of the above list came from Liverpool of Britain.

Are you saying, Kato, some American and British visitors came to read your blog written in Japanese?

I can’t tell for sure, but probably those American and British visitors are Japanese, who are family members of diplomats or Japanese employees working for the Japanese trading firms over there. In any case, my blog is located in the server in Japan while I’m writing articles for that blog from Vancouver, Canada. And visitors come from all over the world. The above list is only for two hours. Daine, do you know what I mean?

What is it?

Well, as soon as I’ve written an article, people from all over the world could read it. Let’s suppose, Johannes Gutenberg printed a book some 500 years ago. It would probably take at least a year or two for the book to reach Japan or Canada. But now, as you see, people from all over the world could read my article in a jiffy after posting it on my blog. This is why I call this the Net Revolution…And another thing!

What is it?

As the above list shows, the Japanese visitors came to my blog from 3:29 AM till 5:38 AM (April 25)—most of the Japanese were deligently sleeping. You see, some Japanese net surfers are crazy. And some of them are after you, Diane.

You’ve gotta be kidding, Kato.

No, I’m not…I’m quite serious…’Cause you’re becoming the Mona Lisa on the Net. He, he, he, he, he,…

【Himiko’s Monologue】

Kato and Diane talked about the Net Revolution.
As you see, we’re living in the age of the internet.
Apparently, English is supposed to be the language for everybody.
However, non-English speakers sometimes create a funny joke without knowing it.

Here are some hilarious jokes:



Here are some signs and notices written in English that were discovered throughout the world.

In a hotel in Athens:

Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

In a Yugoslavian hotel:

The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

In a Japanese hotel:

You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:

You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:

Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

In a Bangkok dry cleaner’s:

Drop your trousers here for best results.

In a Rhodes tailor shop:

Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

A sign posted in Germany’s Black forest:

It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

In a Zurich hotel:

Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:

Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

In a Rome laundry:

Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:

Take one of our horse-driven city tours – we guarantee no miscarriages.

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:

Would you like to ride on your own ass?

In a Bangkok temple:

It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.

In a Tokyo bar:

Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:

We take your bags and send them in all directions.

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:

Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

In a Budapest zoo:

Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

In the office of a Roman doctor:

Specialist in women and other diseases.

From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:

Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:

When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:

– English well talking.
– Here speeching American.

Oh, well…, laughing with hilarious jokes is one thing; romance is another.

Come to think of it, I’ve never met a decent man in my net life.
How come I’m always a loner?
I wish I could meet a nice gentleman at the library in my town as Kato met Diane.
Well, they say, there is a way where there is a will.

Have a nice day!
Bye bye …


“Queen Nefertiti”

“Catherine de Medici”

“Catherine the Great”

“Mata Hari”

“Sidonie Colette”

“Marilyn Monroe”

“Hello Diane!”

“I wish you were there!”

“Jane Eyre”

“Jane Eyre Again”

“Jane Eyre in Vancouver”

“Jane Eyre Special”

“Love & Death of Cleopatra”

“Nice Story”


“Spiritual Work or What?”

“What a coincidence!”

“Wind and Water”

“Yoga and Happiness”

“You’re in a good shape”




“Net Travel & Jane”

“Net Love”

“Complicated Love”

“Electra Compled”

“Net Revolution”




■ 『きれいになったと感じさせる


■ 『ちょっと変わった 新しい古代日本史』

■ 『面白くて楽しいレンゲ物語』

■ 『カナダのバーナビーと軽井沢に


■ 『今すぐに役立つホットな情報』

■ 『 ○ 笑う者には福が来る ○ 』






















































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