Diane@TD Bank

Monday, March 4, 2013
Diane@TD Bank




Diane, how come you stood by the TD Bank?

…’Cause it is my bank.  I was walking over there to meet the bank manager.

No kidding!

I thought I’d better talk to the manager to discuss your problem.

You’re joking, aren’t you?

Kato, do you remember we happened to meet on the street when you walked back to Joe Fortes Library from the main branch?

Oh, yes, that was last Saturday—about three thirty in the aftrenoon.  I posted my articles at 4 o’clock.  

After meeting with you, I walked up to my bank.

I thought you went to your church.

Actually I did.  First I prayed for you at my church so that your problem would be solved soon and you would sleep in peace.

Diane, did you really pray for me?

Yes, I did.

No wonder! … quite a few Net surfers came to read the following article.


“Selfish TD Bank”

Kato, are you saying that my prayer invited a great number of readers?

Yes, of course, I am.  I can’t think of any other reason.    Look at the following list.


This is a list of page views for my blog (http://ameblo.jp/barclay/) for 30 days from Feb. 1 to Mar. 2, 2013.

Two hundred and one Net surfers read “Selfish TD Bank,” didn’t they?

Yes, they read the following story.

Here’s how to use

your enclosed TD Visa cheques:


From now until February 28, 2013, use your TD Visa Cheques to pay off other higher-rate non-TD credit card balance. It’s easy.

  • Write each TD Visa Cheque for any amount, up to the available credit limit on your Card.

  • Present it to the non-TD credit issuer you wish to pay.

  • The amount on the Cheque will be charged to your TD Credit Card Account ar an interest rate of 2.9% for 6 months.



My name is Erica.  How may I help you?

Could you do a balance transfer for me?  I’d like to take advantage of the above offer.

Yes, I think I can.  Let me have your name and account number, please. (I gave her the required information.)  Let me get into your account on the computer… Well … Unfortunately, your account is closed.

No kidding!  You see, I’ve received the special offer from your bank, and your bank sent me an account statement as of January 7, which I received 10 days ago.  How could you possibly close my account?

Let me see… According to your file on the computer, your account has been closed automatically because you haven’t used your credit card for 2 years.

Look!  I haven’t received any notice regarding this closure.  Yet, you sent me a brochure of special offer and still keeps on sending me account statements. And you’re saying that my credit account has been automatically closed.  Why the heck is that?

I don’t know exactly what happened.  It seems that your account balance is zero and no activities have been taking place during the last 2 years.  So the computer has closed your account automatically.

Listen!  Apparently there is no internal communication between the computer and the human beings at your bank.  Lack of proper communication!  Do you know what I mean?  This is a serious mistake arising from the lack of proper communication at your bank!

I apologize for the inconvenience.

I don’t need your apology.  What I want you to do is to re-activate my account.

I don’t think I can.

Why not?

…’Cause I don’t have any authority to do that.

I think your bank has a serious problem now.  I’ve been doing business with your bank for more than 20 years.  That is, my credit account has been at your bank for more than 20 years.  In the previous years, when no activities took place on my account for 2 years, you sent me a notice whether or not I’d like to continue to hold an account.  And now your dumb computer automatically closed my account.  This is one of the most foolish bank activities I’ve ever heard of.

I’m sorry but I can’t help you on this matter.

Well, in this case, I’d like to place a formal complaint.  Please give me the name of your vice-president in charg of customer services or credir card operations so that I can write a letter of complaint.

You can’t do that.

Why not?

…’Cause you’d have to comply with the bank’s procedure if you want to place a formal complaint.  First of all, one of our officers would have to evaluate your complaint wether or not to proceed.

That’s a piece of nonsensical bullshit!  Listen, Erica!  We live in a free world, you know.  Have you ever heard of freedom of speech or freedom of expression?

Yes, of course, I have.

Then I don’t need to obey your rule!  I should be able to say or write whatever I want to complain without your evaluation.

But you have to comply with my bank’s procedure.

Listen, Erica!  I don’t have to obey your rule, which is NOT a law.  If I like, I could report this to the world.

… to the world?  How could you possibly do that?

Well … I’m a blogger, and my readers are all over the world—79 countries if I tell you exactly.  When the people all over the world get to know this foolish bank activity, they try to avoid TD Bank.

Wait a minute!  I don’t think I can handle this problem any more.  Would you like to talk to my manager?

Yes, of course, by all means.


Good morning.  My name is Christopher.  My Employee ID is 30223.  How may I help you?

Your computer did automatically close my account without sending me any notice.

I suppose it’s for security reason.

Are you saying that I’m a security risk?

No, you are NOT.  Since you haven’t used your credit card for two years, somebody else might use it.  That’s the kind of security risk I’m talking about.

You’re talking about the your bank’s security, not customers’ satisfaction.  They say, customers are a king, but at your bank, the dumb computer seems to be a king. Accordingly, without any communication between the stupid machine and the human, your bank made a serious mistake.  So I want you to re-activate my account right away.

Sorry, but I can’t do that.

Why not?

I’m not allowed to do that, Sir.

So at your bank, your dumb computer is the real king, isn’t it?

No, it is NOT, but I can’t re-activate your account.

As a manager you should be able to override the dumb computer’s foolish decision, shouldn’t you?

At my bank, unfortunately, this is not the case, Sir.  Anything else I can help you with?

No, nothing else.  If you’re inferior to the dumb computer, I don’t think I should talk about anything else with you.

SOURCE: “Selfish TD Bank”
(February 3, 2013)

Kato, are you still angry with the bank?

No, not really.

Then how come you’ve brought up the same complaint?

… Simply because the above article (“Selfish TD Bank”) is well-read on the Net.


… ‘Cause you prayed for me at your church.  Besides, there are quite a few articles of the same title on the Net.


Wow! … There are 159,000 hits, aren’t there?

Yes, there are.  Diane, do you remember the following list?



Yes, of course, I remember the above list.

I posted “Selfish TD Bank” on February 2, 2013.  Now, look at the latest list.


As you see, the number of page views had been increased to 34,149 from 33,514, and the number of countries had been increased to 83 from 81.

So you’re saying that the “Selfish TD Bank” article attracted Net surfers from additional two countries, aren’t you?

You’re telling me, Diane.

But I wonder why so many articles of the same title are seen in the search result.

Look at the following list.


I’ve built up my syndication called “Denman Syndicate,” which contains 18 blogs and one web page.

So when you post an article, it will show up over other sites as well, huh?

Diane, you’re darn right on that.

That means, Kato, you’re damaging a good reputation of TD Bank.  Do you realize that?

Well, TD Bank made a big foolish mistake on my account in the first place.

But, Kato, nobody is perfect, and nothing is perfect.  People goof up from time to time, you know.

I know that, but the customers are a king.  All the banks should be able to serve their customers to their satisfaction.

Some banks might think otherwise.  In any case, Kato, you should be lenient.  Don’t be too hard on the bank clerks.

I’m not blaming those clerks.  I simply want top bank managers to think about the customers-are-a-king principle.


Kato, let’s pray together.


Yes, yes, yes, … if you say so … My God … TD Bank is becoming a Truely Dumb bank.  Please let its bank managers consider that humans are better than dumb computers so that we, customers, will be happy again, and Mozart will be happy again in the other world, too.

Amen …


【Himiko’s Monologue】


Well … what do you think?
A couple years ago, Kato had a trouble with one of the Japanese banks—namely, Ashikaga Bank (足利銀行).
I wonder if he was born with a bad luck to get into troubles with banks.

In any case, I hope Kato will write another interesting article soon.
So please come back to see me.

Have a nice day!
Bye bye …



If you’ve got some time,

Please read one of the following artciles:


“Diane Chatterley”

“From Canada to Japan”

“From Gyoda to Vancouver”

“Film Festival”

“Madame Taliesin”

“Happy Days”

“Vancouver Again”



“Midnight in Vancouver”

“Madame Lindbergh”

“Dead Poets Society”

“Letters to Diane”

“Taliesin Studio”


“Wright and Japan”

“Taliesin Banzai”

“Memrory Lane to Sendai”

“Aunt Sleepie”

“Titanic @ Sendai”



“Roly-poly in the wild”

“Silence is dull”

“Zen and Chi Gong”

“Piano Lesson”

“Dangerous Relation”

“Electra Complex”


“Covent Garden”

“Fatal Relation”

“Notre Dame”

“Anne Frank”

“Biker Babe”

“Diane Girdles the Globe”

“Diane in Casablanca”

“Infidelity Neighbourhood”

“Forest Bathing”

“Enjoy Ramen!”

“Sex, Violence, Love”

“Halifax to Vancouver”

“A Thread of Destiny”

“Fujiyama Geisha”


“Beaver Lake”

“God is Near!”

“Holy Cow@Rose Garden”

“Vancouver Earthquake”




“You Love Japan, eh?”

“Eight Bridges”

“First Love”

“Fright on Flight”

“Boy’s Movie”

“From Summer to Eternity”

“Sōseki & Glenn Gould”

“Dream Dream Dream”

“In Search of Your Footprint”

“Little Night Music”

“Merry X’mas”

“Happy New Year!”

“Long live Diane!”

“Mona Lisa”

“Flu Shot”

“Selfish TD Bank”

“Talk with Mozart”

“Bliss for Diane!”

“Romantic Bohemian”

“TD Bank or Mozart?”



Hi, I’m June Adams.

TD Canada Trust is the personal, small business and commercial banking operation of the Toronto-Dominion Bank (TD) in Canada.

TD Canada Trust offers a range of financial services and products to more than 10 million Canadian customers through more than 1,100 branches and 2,600 “Green Machine” ABMs.


The current TD Canada Trust division was formed after TD’s acquisition of Canada Trust in 2000.

All new and most existing accounts are officially issued by TD Bank (Institution Number: 004), although Canada Trust (Institution Number: 509) remains a separate subsidiary entity, and remains the issuer of accounts opened at that institution prior to the merger.

Over the past year, TD has been phasing out the “Canada Trust” part of its name from its logo online, in advertisements, and on stationary.

It is possible that this is a move to consolidate TD’s Canadian and American (TD Bank North) retail brands, but this is unknown at this time.

Worth approximately $9.7 billion, TD has been regarded by MSN.com as Canada’s most valuable bank.

Occupy Vancouver protesters

take over downtown TD Bank









『軽井沢タリアセン夫人 – 小百合物語』






27件のフィードバック to “Diane@TD Bank”

  1. Tear Jerker | Denman Blog Says:

    […] ■“Diane@TD Bank” […]

  2. Diane in Chorus Line | Denman Blog Says:

    […] ■“Diane@TD Bank” […]

  3. Pork or Friend? | Denman Blog Says:

    […] ■“Diane@TD Bank” […]

  4. Easter Bloopers | Denman Blog Says:

    […] ■“Diane@TD Bank” […]

  5. Beauty is Heart-deep | Denman Blog Says:

    […] ■“Diane@TD Bank” […]

  6. Romance@South Pacific | Denman Blog Says:

    […] ■“Diane@TD Bank” […]

  7. Art Gallery | Denman Blog Says:

    […] ■“Diane@TD Bank” […]

  8. Diane Hypatia | Denman Blog Says:

    […] ■“Diane@TD Bank” […]

  9. Cherry and Silk | Denman Blog Says:

    […] ■“Diane@TD Bank” […]

  10. Price of Your Life | Denman Blog Says:

    […] ■“Diane@TD Bank” […]

  11. Elephant Cries | Denman Blog Says:

    […] ■“Diane@TD Bank” […]

  12. Banana @ Eden | Denman Blog Says:

    […] ■“Diane@TD Bank” […]

  13. Go Bananas | Denman Blog Says:

    […] ■“Diane@TD Bank” […]

  14. Manwatching | Denman Blog Says:

    […] ■“Diane@TD Bank” […]

  15. Stanley Boardwalk | Denman Blog Says:

    […] ■“Diane@TD Bank” […]

  16. With your Tiger | Denman Blog Says:

    […] ■“Diane@TD Bank” […]

  17. A Second World | Denman Blog Says:

    […] ■“Diane@TD Bank” […]

  18. Asexual Thought | Denman Blog Says:

    […] ■“Diane@TD Bank” […]

  19. Stanley 125 Years | Denman Blog Says:

    […] ■“Diane@TD Bank” […]

  20. Sushi @ the Globe | Denman Blog Says:

    […] ■“Diane@TD Bank” […]

  21. Peace@Syria & Pentagon | Denman Blog Says:

    […] ■“Diane@TD Bank” […]

  22. Sweet Memory | Denman Blog Says:

    […] ■“Diane@TD Bank” […]

  23. Unforgettable Movies | Denman Blog Says:

    […] ■“Diane@TD Bank” […]

  24. Typhoon 26 | Denman Blog Says:

    […] ■“Diane@TD Bank” […]

  25. Diane@World | Denman Blog Says:

    […] ■“Diane@TD Bank” […]

  26. Diane@Spam | Denman Blog Says:

    […] ■“Diane@TD Bank” […]

  27. Sabina | Denman Blog Says:

    […] ■“Diane@TD Bank” […]



WordPress.com ロゴ

WordPress.com アカウントを使ってコメントしています。 ログアウト /  変更 )

Twitter 画像

Twitter アカウントを使ってコメントしています。 ログアウト /  変更 )

Facebook の写真

Facebook アカウントを使ってコメントしています。 ログアウト /  変更 )

%s と連携中